March Bastard Ascension Symptoms are Fucking Amping UP, Again

 

Yep. You guessed it. Ascension is coming on strong right now as that relentless fucker sun in the sky is bombarding us with its projectile solar rays, AGAIN, like we haven’t had enough already . . .

 

I know we’re all ascending but for fuck sake, when will it shut the fuck up and get over it. I got shit to do. Like, get out of bed for a fucking change.

 

Latest ascension symptoms, incase for some fucking bizarre reason you are not aware of them (and if you’re not it’s probably because I’m fucking feeling it all for you on your behalf, ssssffffffpppp……..yep I/ME, no one fucking else) :-

 

● feeling like a fucking totally useless pleb.

– Waking up to realise that all you can manage is to fall back to sleep again, and even that’s fucking too exhausting to do, Bastard wakefulness. It’s a shit head.

 

● your whole body is aching and fucking hurting in weird shitty places and you feel like you’ve become aged 90 over night,  again, cause you feel like this every time the Bastard universe tosses more light in

 

● major head shit going on. Invisible nasty alien (cause most aliens are Fucking alright, alright) head vice trap wrench things knobbled into your third twatty eye and, like my friend ‘N’ says ‘crown puckered up like a cats asshole’

 

● serious mind bending head fucking experiences with time, which is just being a twat and jumping and disappearing all over the shitty place . . . like a twat, a big time twat

 

● fuck off time

 

● chakras,  which don’t even fucking exist anymore, acting like dickheads and dancing and moving around like gaylords on acid. Especially the solar plexus, and the heart, firey fucker, and the root, all disturbed and shit, causing problems . . . OH FUCK OFF! ALL chakras are being cunts

 

● feeling ‘SPACED OUT’ – for fuck sake!!! We are IN SPACE being zapped by the galaxy having our arses whipped by a gigantic massive crazy arse sun. Spaced out, pppffffff……..

 

● opening up your Divine channel – and receiving SHIT LOADS of information that you don’t know what the fuck to do with??? And/or just allowing yourself to become outrageously outlandish BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT? Being your more authentic self because everyone can just GET FUCKED

 

● Feeling more compassion and understanding for ALL because you always fucking have anyway you just haven’t fucking noticed before, dick head

 

● still hating some people too, because you’re just not ready to drop that shit yet. Fuck it

 

● powerful waves of light are flooding into the planet and so therefore you are NOT FEELING FUCKING NORMAL and you don’t even understand why. And still everyone can just fuck off

 

● weird emotional shit. I mean shit, this ascension has been a bitch so far and emotional shit has been a mega fuck face the whole way through, so don’t expect anything different if you collapse in a arsehole depression and at the same time feel epically high and light and amaaaazing. Twatty bipolar spiritual fuck face awakening

 

● nausea, in the head, feels like your temples and third eye and brain is gonna puke and shit everywhere, like twats

 

● feeling lost and anxious and confused! FOR FUCK SAKE THIS IS ASCENSION! This one is just a pisser and is gonna get fucking worse so just fucking let go, of everything,  tell it to fuck off and not come back again,  twat

 

● dizzy, like a fucking knobber, all the time

 

● receiving psychic hits and spiritual guidance to just stop being a twat and let yourself be the twat that you truly twatting are

 

● surrender, to being a twat

 

● sleeping all the time because being awake isn’t as good as being a fucking sleep

 

● not knowing who the fuck you are anymore. You are YOU, dick splash

 

● no one understands you. Nope. No one fucking understands them fucking selves. So good fucking luck with that ball ache

 

● body temperature just being an absolute arsehole knob and not being nice, unless when it chooses to be warm and cosy, but it doesn’t,  at the right time, so fuck you body temperature

 

● irresistible urges to just fucking scream at wanking people when you feel misunderstood. Oh. That might just be me. Fuck off

 

● weird food shit going on. Mad cravings for weird shit. Usually unhealthy weird shit. It might be to ground yourself so just fucking eat it. Pray on it. And then fucking eat it

 

● feeling drawn to nature. Of course knob head! 3D reality is fucking mental. Trees are not. Go fucking be with trees

 

● brain fog. Ah. Go get fucked in the head brain fog

 

POSITIVE ASCENSION SYMPTOMS

 

● deciding to not give an actual fucking fuck about anything, because why the fuck not

 

● dancing all over the place because there’s so much bastardy energy in your body a good stomp will chuck it the fuck out. In a good way. So just fucking do it

 

● maintaining and sharing a healthy and ridiculous sense of fucking humour. You’ll need it

Now fuck off. Ascension, not you x

– Watch/listen to this article on YouTube. I did a great fucking job, considering I haven’t fucking slept for 5 wanking days….

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WsMdsfhCYUo

11 thoughts on “March Bastard Ascension Symptoms are Fucking Amping UP, Again

  1. Just Hilarious!
    Humour bringing the darkside of being human to light without attacking others.

    This is what I would have written myself id I could, if I dared. .

    I would like to risk sharing this post to Experiments in Recognition HD page, if you are ok with that.

    Twatty gratititude
    Vijay the SpacedOutKat

  2. OMG…could not have said this any better if I had said it myself.

    Been at this “awakening” since my 20s, during the 80s psychic new age, only my life was on its own awakening course, long before I could “read” what was actually happening…you would think that after hundreds and hundreds of readings and teaching psychic/intuitive development, along with the tarot, that I would have a clue as to what I was actually working with….but NO.

    After 34 moves in 27 years, to be in different energies, clearing, grounding, anchoring and doing it all over again this would begin to make sense, but NOOOOO!

    And if you are wired this deeply, there is no ignoring that you have to keep moving through it all.

    Exhaustion has gone to new heights and even then, I believe this word can no longer describe this process…

    So, thank you, thank you, thank you, for putting this to words in the way that you did, because it sounded like me, going through my rant each morning on “WTF” is going on?

    Thank you, thank you!

    • Awh! Carolyn, thank you for responding! Yep. I totally hear you. And I could have said a lot more! It is a crazy journey. And YEP, exhaustion, and many other states and experiences DO need new words . . . new language . . . hmm! Maybe I’ll start making it up!!! And start sharing that!!! xx Thank you too! x

    • Carol, I’m 51 and I have a feeling we’ve been on a parallel timeline. I’m in house #67 at present, although I’ve been in this one for 7 years and am itching to move on.
      But you just narrated the last 30 years of my life.
      Nice to meet you twinnie!

  3. When you finally meet someone who speaks your language.
    I don’t know where you’ve been, but you need to be viral.

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