Hello and welcome to my website/blog
My name is Alexa, and I have a website because I like creating and sharing stuff; writing, thoughts, poetry, artwork, music, healing services etc.
What Am I All About?
I’m on a creative self healing, self love journey.
In 2008 I suffered a monumental break down that shattered me completely. In the quake of that I have suffered with; bipolar, skin cancer, seizures, as well as being a long term type 1 insulin dependent diabetic.
All of these illnesses combined have taken their toll on me in so many ways; lack of energy, mass confusion, dispersion of focus, inability to get up and running . . . And yet, paradoxically, my health issues have been, and still are, what direct me in the direction of my truth.
My ‘breakdown’ and the following couple of years of magnificent highs and lows (psychosis’s and clinical depressions) is what got me labelled ‘Bipolar 1’.
I have had a long arduous journey with that ‘experience’ and for the past few years have come to more wholesomely accept my apparent ‘bipolar’ to be more aptly named ‘Spiritual Awakening’ or ‘Spiritual Emergenc-Y’.
Through my on going ‘wake up’ I have been meeting and learning more deeply about myself, what I need, what I don’t need, what my limitations are, and what I can do to help myself get closer and closer to the real ME, and bring her forth.
It’s all things creative that really assist me; drawing, painting, creating, writing, poetry, song writing, music, performance, blogging, vlogging, sharing,dancing, expressing, and many forms of energy medicine and psychology, practised on myself and others.
And remaining true to my heart.
I find life extremely hard and challenging. I am mostly on my own, in my own company. But I am more and more growing closer to accepting that this is the only way I will really follow the call to go within, not without, for my guidance, support and direction.
The more I go within, the more I learn that my soul, my spirit, my heart, my inner child NEEDS to creatively express and share. I feel it in my soul that this is what’s uplifts me more than anything. And that’s because any time I am in creation mode, I am channeling Divine Spirit through me.
In the immediate years following my ‘breakdown’ I was so utterly lost and terrified. I’d left my home. I’d moved somewhere Unknown. I didn’t have friends. Or colleagues. I have no job, job. I was in constant meltdown, I couldn’t function properly, I was drowning in confusion and voices and deamons most of the time.
I was terrified.
In the years prior to my breakdown I was an apparent full functioning adult!! Yet, my creativity was still sporadic.
Nowadays I understand that my creativity is ESSENTIAL to my existence, if not infact the PURPOSE of my existence.
In 2012 , after re discovering the freedom and joy of dancing whilst I was visiting Ubud in Bali, when I returned to England I knew I had to keep it up, but had nowhere to go. Only outside. I had to bite the bullet.
Or don’t dance, basically.
I chose to dance.
At first just my little finger. I was so utterly afraid and terrified of looking like a twat, and just giving too much of a shit about what others thought of me. I knew I had to dance to shake off this self consciousness and start getting in touch with some of the freedom deep within me.
I started discovering that the more I danced, the easier it got. It became a practice for me; physical, mental, emotional, psychological, spiritual exercise. Dancing off worrying what others think.
In 2016, at age 41, with mega amounts of depression, anxiety and fear alive in me, I chose to start street performing, again, as another way of exorcising out of me the too controlling giving a crap what other people think, and also, to provide for myself an arena where I could perform and share my gifts; songs, lyrics, guitar, melodies, voice, story telling, acoustic alchemy.
The blatant, in the moment, LIVE sharing of heart and soul.
This took and still takes great courage.
But I learned through challenging myself every time, that if I experimented with putting myself in public and singing my heart out, that most times my agonies would be soothed. Especially when people started feeding back to me that they were being touched and moved by my music.
Also, through the last few years, I rediscovered my love for drawing and doodling and painting . . . and now I had a new way of experimenting with it all – expressing emotions, all manner of them. So I started drawing and sharing in my social media outlets. I then discovered that often I wanted to explain where the images were coming from, and then got in touch with the need to ‘tell’ . . . so I started blogging; about my own thoughts, about life, about experiences, about struggles, about realisations, about GROWTH! And I found it cathartic to just CREATE and SHARE.
Also, back in 2014 I found myself embarking on a vlogging journey! I was trying to video and share my experiences of learning an online business, but instead found myself DAILY sharing my journey through a dark night of the soul! Not what I was expecting! I TOTALLY failed at the business, but totally WON at truly expressing myself! But the experience, again, of showing up RAW, REAL, unedited, VULNERABLE showed me that people respond to that. That people APPRECIATE that. It’s needed.
I now continue my video bloggin journey around the themes of busking, spiritual awakening, the ascension process, healing, creativity, health and well being. I continue, because I am responding to the feedback from subscribers.
What I am learning more and more, remembering deep within my soul, more and more, is that it is so VITAL for me to create and share.
It’s profoundly healing for me and if I touch deeply into one other being than just me is it magnificently worth it.
Through my last 20 years of healing (from the start of my insulin dependent diabetes journey) I have gained MANY healing skills in my healing tool belt.
Amongst those skills and qualifications I practice MATRIX REIMPRINTING, EFT Advance, EMOTION CODE, T.A.T, The Healing Code, Reiki and reading the Akashic Records.
I love practicing healing with others. I am utterly in my heart and soul when doing so and I am very skilled at what I do. My battles with mental illness have really taught me how to LISTEN and BE with others. And I deeply KNOW that each of us are whole; we do not need fixing, we are NOT broken, we just need to be seen, recognised, HEARD.
I am aiming to get my ‘healing services’ page set up on this site, but for now here’s a link to my ‘contact me’ page if you would like my assistance.
I also live my Human Design experience. There’s a link in my ‘blog’ tab to more about human design. It’s a bonkers journey, all about deconditioning the mind and bringing ones true authority and decision making process back into the body. It takes some courage living ones design, and again, you have to really embody not giving a flying f*ck what others think!!!
Currently I have an album/CD in the process of coming together. Original music. I will have it somewhere available on this site when it’s ready. I’ll let you know
All in all my journey and service is all about SELF LOVE, and the re-discovering and sharing that allowing ones creative force to flow is a profound way of loving oneself
But for now, that’s enough about me . . . . May you be blessed with sumptuous self love and joyful creativity, and therefore a gentle, over time, reclaiming of who you truly are, and, why you are truly here xx With love xx