I’ve put upon myself a kind of 90 Day Blogging challenge, but I put it upon myself with loose rules! It’s ok if I need a day off!
I’m doing my best to write one blog a day, for different reasons –
- to see if I can manage that
- to see what comes up for me to write about
- to see if I can do it regardless of how I’m feeling or what I’m up to
- to share what’s happening for me in my life, health, business and education
- to see if it feels natural for me and something I’ll be able to continue
- to see if I get better at typing!
- to find out if I enjoy sharing in this way
- to know that I am taking at least one positive action step a day in the direction of my dreams
So, can I manage it?
Yes. It’s challenging sometimes. But, if I ever get stuck on what to write about I go back to my classes and trainings with The SFM, I watch a training video (they’re all great and super informative) and I write about what I’m learning. This is a great way of me solidifying what I’m learning, as I find when I write about something I’m learning I store it away in a deeper and different part of my brain.
I write a lot about healing techniques as this is an area I am constantly researching. And like I just said researching and writing about what I know and what I’m learning helps ME grasp it and understand it even more.
I live with health issues and mental health issues and I find each day a challenge. Although I do everything in my power to love and care for and look after myself, I’m still all over the place in many ways, albeit in an aware way.
Writing in my blog is one way I am using to build up my confidence. I am learning that there is always something for me to write about, whether its educational, healing, music, poetry, struggles, triumphs, learnings, it feels good to have somewhere to pour myself into each day, regardless of where I’m at or who’s reading.
It can feel challenging having to write something of ‘value’ but I get it that just being myself is valuable enough. Perhaps I can’t always create something that’s useful to others. Perhaps sometimes I just don’t have the energy to create fresh information. Perhaps some times I just need to share what’s on my mind.
Today is one of those days.
I am really grateful to be part of The SFM and to be learning everything that I am. However, for me, when I get into study mode my manic and depressive sides come under intense pressure and I get triggered left, right and centre.
I need to take the pressure off of myself but I am so keen to get myself on track, become self reliant again, find a home for me to live in, give my body everything she needs to be in optimum health that I get emotionally triggered in a big way in my learning curves and stumbles.
I am finding it a huge challenge to remain relaxed whilst I am learning so much. This is a real bipolary tendency of mine – to not be able to do things in a chilled out manner. It’s always 200% or 0.5%. I can’t seem to find a balance, but I’m doing my best.
I find myself worrying if this blog is too melancholic, but do you know what? Screw it! I don’t care. I CAN’T care. I need to be myself, and sometimes I’m a genius; clear, vibrant, lively. And sometimes I am a dark, broken, struggling, crying wretch! And all the places in between.
I am making the effort to apply myself to growing myself a business so that I can share myself, share my words, art, music, skills, inspiration, insights as well as struggles, tears and ways I deal with that. Also, growing a business is about growing myself; transforming who I am, using my skills and talents in a bigger way, sharing with a wider audience, having an outlet that allows me to offer my gifts through. And, for me building a business is about courageously and deliberately going about creating a life that supports and nourishes my greatest needs. It’s exciting to know that I will be earning an income through my business soon. But it is more exciting to know that I am doing that in alignment with my soul.
It is essential for me to BE MYSELF. It is essential that whatever I’m involved and and in whatever I create, there is space for all of me to show up, and there’s a big lot of kooky me to show up.
I am finding that through The SFM my prayer “I work in creative collaboration with smart inspiring people on projects that contribute to the well being of humanity” is being answered.
I love that I have found myself here, even though I’m struggling each day to show up, to create, to share, to learn, to break through confusion, to work things out, I am profoundly grateful to have found my online TRIBE.
This is my business.
This is ME.